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Conspiracy Cafe: Snapchat

By Eva Bryner and Libby Cross

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It’s no secret that our government loves to spy on us. Thanks to conspiracy heroes like Edward Snowden, we know the truth about our government’s intentions … . Spoiler alert, they intend to spy on us all. Their latest method? A little known social media app called snapchat.

Snapchat recently introduced an update in which you can apply fun filters to your face and surroundings. These filters manipulate your face into countless things, including bunnies, sea creatures, deer, other people, and most famously, dogs. Many teens thought this was just a harmless update, a fun thing to try with friends. However, think again. Snapchat has to scan your facial features in order to manipulate them, and what do they do with all those unique, scanned faces? If the answer isn’t already obvious, be more critical of your government and try again! That’s right, they sell them to the NSA, or maybe the CIA, or the FBI, anyone who’s interested in a database containing everyone’s face.

This theory that snapchat sells their data on everyone’s facial scans answers so many seemingly unanswerable questions. Firstly, it solves the mystery, how a free app is able to generate so much revenue (a projected $1 billion dollars by the end of this year!). That sweet sweet facial scan cash is keeping them afloat. Secondly, it gives us insight into why they added a filter where you can swap faces, and have since added features where two people can have filters in one photo — they can scan faces at double the rate! By swapping faces with someone, you give Snapchat a two for one deal with a product that goes straight to the government.

This theory was brought to light by adamant theorist and recognised 2010 rapper, B.o.B. B.o.B has been an important figure in bringing about hidden theories to the public eye. One of his most notable occurrences was when he tweeted about the earth being flat, and argued his point with acclaimed scientist Neil Degrasse Tyson. B.o.B brought science to the table, citing multiple diagrams and telling us all the ways in which NASA is lying to us. B.o.B continued his legacy as a popular conspiracy theorist when he tweeted, “When you realize all the snapchat filters are really building a facial recognition database,” followed by a shady kermit emoji.

In coordination with this theory, Snapchat received $150 million in facial recognition technology right around when the FBI started looking into their next big project, the Next Generation Identification System. This system would be a facial database for not only criminals, but any citizen, criminal background or not. Snapchat is the perfect way to start this database.

So, the next time that you consider morphing into a deer, or swapping faces with your friend, remember the wise words of B.o.B, “You’ve been tremendously deceived.” That seemingly harmless ghost doesn’t seem too harmless anymore, huh?

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Conspiracy Cafe: Snapchat