Vending machines are back! Well sort of, as there is only one vending machine in the cafeteria. And it does indeed have a few snacks to offer. The stock of the vending machine changes frequently, so the snacks listed here might not be there by the time you get snacks from it.
The first snack is starting off kind of weak. At the very top of the vending machine, you’ll find two flavors of seaweed: sea salt and avocado oil. Now seaweed is a pretty mediocre snack as it won’t typically fill you up and the flavor is fine. If you are looking for a light healthy snack, seaweed is a good go-to. Seaweed is a solid C tier.
The next snack is a classic: the Lays original flavor. Not much to talk about here, but Lays is just a satisfying potato chip with a good crunch, but it can be a bit too greasy. They don’t have much of a flavor besides copious amounts of salt. They’re not the craziest snack, but they’re all-around solid. B tier.
Next up is Skinny Pop. Skinny Pop is an alright popcorn that doesn’t provide too much flavor. When looking at the other snacks, Skinny Pop doesn’t provide much and needs more seasoning. There are also better popcorn options. Low C tier.
If you want a better, but more time-intensive alternative to Skinny Pop, the vending machine also offers microwave popcorn. The popcorn oozes with butter, and it’s piping hot and fresh too. The only downside is that you have to have access to a microwave. A few teachers have a microwave and will let people use it, but it is a pretty big hassle. B tier.
Next is Pirate’s Booty. Pirate’s Booty is another OK snack as it doesn’t come in good portions and is a little too cheesy. Also, Pirate’s Booty can be messy as the cheesy dust powder can get everywhere. High C tier.
Also in the vending machine are two flavors of Hershey’s bar. The classic, and the version with almonds. This is a hot take, but Hershey’s is disgusting. It always makes me feel like I just threw up, and almonds are even worse. Hershey’s is a D-tier.
Munchies peanut butter crackers are the weirdest addition to the vending machine. It’s a slab of overly sticky peanut butter sandwiched between two bright orange crackers. The crackers fall apart too easily, and the peanut butter sticks to the roof of your mouth, leaving an unpleasant feeling long after eating. Low D tier.
Life Savers may save your life if you’re in need of a long-lasting flavor candy, but the flavor itself is just alright. They come in two flavors: mint and original. Now Life Savers are just a hard version of gum. High C tier.
Speaking of long-lasting but with a pop, there’s bubble gum. Bubble gum is a popular pick when it comes to candy, as gum is a better alternative to Life Savers because it provides more flavor and more fun if you know how to blow gum. Low A tier.
Next is a fan-favorite chip: Sunchips. It’s an all-around classic snack as they provide great flavor options (such as Sun Chips original and cheddar), and do not cause a mess like the other snacks on this list. There’s not much to say about these chips; they’re all-around great. Solid S tier.
Now going back to candy, we’re talking about Skittles. Skittles are a great candy as they come in good portions and offer many different flavors. There’s not much to say about Skittles as there is an all-around good snack. A tier.
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are one of the best chocolate candies ever made. The delicious peanut butter filling is perfectly balanced with the hard chocolate shell. No doubt the best thing you could get in the vending machine, this is the highest of S-tier snacks.
Kit Kats are fine. The wafer is crispy and has a good texture, but the chocolate is overly sweet and detracts from the crispiness. There are definitely better and more flavorful chocolates out there, but it’s still a decent pick. B tier.
Another fruity candy, Starbursts are a good choice. Coming in a variety of strong flavors, Starbursts have a good chewy texture that will leave you wanting more. They also come individually wrapped, so you can open the packet without eating every piece of candy. A tier.
Back to snacks, we’re talking about Goldfish. Goldfish are a solid salty snack, but for a snack that brands itself as cheesy, I always find myself wanting more cheese. Otherwise, it comes in pretty small portions. High B tier.
Pocky is an odd Japanese snack that is a little strange. The appeal is weird, though they are a good light snack. The fact that they combine a savory breadstick with a sweet chocolate ends up being less flavorful than you would think. Pocky comes in a few different flavors: original chocolate, cookies and cream, and strawberry. The original chocolate is by far the best, the other two flavors leave a weird aftertaste. High C tier.
The only drink on this list is Capri-Suns, which is a little odd. Capri-Suns are ok, and they have some pretty good flavors. However, a drink in a snack vending machine feels kind of out of place. B tier.
The final snack is more of a dessert. Hostess Donettes are kind of like a mini chocolate donut. They are loaded with sugar, and they can be way too sweet if you eat more than two. Made by the same company that makes Twinkies, they somehow managed to pack even more sugar and weird chemicals into an already sickly-sweet variety of donuts. D-tier.
I hope you visit the vending machine and keep this list in mind, as long as it’s actually working. If you encounter any problems, talk to the business crew, and don’t try to shake it. The last time someone messed with the vending machine, they had to work at the student store for weeks, and nobody wants to do that. Overall, the vending machine is a great addition to our school.
