Hello everyone, and welcome to the first edition of The Clarion. It has been quite a summer, at least when it comes to the current election. So, as is tradition, I shall be giving you all a recap on what has happened over the summer. However, instead of just listing a few of the more noteworthy events, I will be listing every single failure and controversy to come out of both the Trump and Clinton campaigns. Also, since Gary Johnson is prevalent around Cleveland, we will be looking at him too. You might want to grab some popcorn for this one, it might take a while.

The Trump Side

July 2: Trump tweeted a photo of Hillary Clinton that had the phrase “most corrupt” plastered onto the Star of David. After some backlash, it was later replaced with a circle.

July 5: Trump praised Saddam Hussein at a rally, saying that he was “good at killing terrorists.” To be fair, I think the two of them would have gotten along pretty well.

July 19: A speech given by Trump’s wife Melania was called out as being very similar to a speech given by Michelle Obama in 2008.

July 24: Trump defended former FOX chief Roger Ailes’s multiple sexual harassment accusations, saying, “Some of the women that are complaining, I know how much he helped them.” When later asked what he would do if his daughter was sexually harassed, he said that he would hope she would just change jobs. Because every person can find a new job whenever they want.

July 27: Trump asked Russia to hack Hillary Clinton during a rally, saying, “I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing.” It’s moments like this when I wonder if Trump even has a thought process.

July 30: In response to Khizr Khan’s speech at the DNC, Trump said during an interview, “I think I have made a lot of sacrifices.” Well, if living in the height of luxury is a sacrifice, I suppose Trump has had a few lifetimes worth of sacrifice.

July 30: During the same interview, Trump said of Khan’s wife Ghazala Khan, “Maybe she wasn’t allowed to say anything” after he remarked on how she hadn’t spoken. Ghazala later said that she didn’t feel she could keep herself together in front of the crowd.

Aug. 2: After receiving a Purple Heart from Lt. Louis Dorfman he said, “I’ve always wanted to get a Purple Heart. This was much easier.” Said like a person who has never been in the military before.

Aug. 2: He kicked a baby out of a rally after it started to cry. It’s too bad Trump did that, I think the two of them could have really connected.

Aug. 2: He refused to endorse Paul Ryan, saying that we need “strong leadership.” Because that’s how you win elections, insulting your own party members.

Aug. 9: He implied that someone should assassinate Hillary Clinton so she can’t take away Second Amendment rights. I … I just … there are no words for this.

Aug. 10: Said that Obama is the founder of ISIS. When asked in a later interview what he meant by that, he said that Obama is the literal founder of ISIS. After later media backlash, Trump said that the media “doesn’t get sarcasm.” I don’t think he knows what that word means.

Aug. 12: At a rally in Pennsylvania, Trump said the only way he could lose is if cheating was involved.

Aug. 14: Tweeted he would be winning over Hillary by 20 percent if it wasn’t for the “crooked media.” I wish I had a counter that said how many times Trump has said the word crooked.

Aug. 23: While trying to appeal to African Americans at a rally, Trump said, “What the hell do you have to lose by trying something new, like Trump?” A lot. They have a lot to lose in that situation.  

Aug. 24: Said that Hillary was leading a “hate movement” and was a bigot. Yeah, speak for yourself there, buddy.

Sept. 16: Trump said he thinks Clinton’s bodyguards should disarm in order to “see what happens to her.” Why stop at one implication of assassination when you can make two, am I right?

Sept. 16: Trump said that Hillary started the Obama “birther” movement. The very same movement that Trump reignited back in September of last year. If you are unaware of what the movement is, it pretty much says that Obama wasn’t born in the U.S. In other words, more conspiracy nonsense.  

The Clinton Side

July 22: A hack of the DNC showed Democrat leaders, including DNC CEO Amy Dacey, showed heavy favor for Clinton over Bernie Sanders over the course of the election cycle. It has been theorized that Sanders would have won if it wasn’t for this interference.

Sept. 11: Hillary developed pneumonia and had to leave a 9/11 ceremony. This has sparked a Republican response that amounts to “I told you so.”

Notice how shorter the list is for Clinton compared to Trump. I wonder if this means anything? Now, before I am accused of bias, I will say that I honestly could not find anything else on Hillary Clinton. “But what about her emails?” I hear you say. As I said, I’m only focusing on the last few months. If I went back to when that was more prevalent, Trump’s list would be six pages long.

The Johnson Side

Sept. 8: During an interview, Johnson didn’t know what Aleppo was. Aleppo is a Syrian city that is currently in battle, and is a serious humanitarian crisis. In a later interview, Johnson said that he was “incredibly frustrated” with himself.

Sept. 16: It was revealed that Johnson will not be in the first major debate. This is a major setback for him, as it means he won’t be getting as much national exposure.  

Well, there is your Clarion election update. I hope you join us next time when we cover the burning dumpster that is the general election.