“Avengers: Age of Ultron” a deluge of good things

There is not even a single second of downtime in “Avengers: Age of Ultron;” hold your eyelids open and embrace the non-stop torrential downpour of transparent humor and CGI explosions. In the end however, it got me. Nobody is safe from liking this film because every millisecond it changes to appeal to a new audience. Soccer moms, angsty teens, decadent philanthropists, prison inmates, Namibian e-mail scammers, whoever; would find parts of this movie they enjoy.

We begin with instant, satisfying, gratuitous fighting in an Eastern European country under siege by an evil Russian antagonist who’s sporting the new Google Glass. In light of the Avengers’ instantaneous success, they throw a totally sick house party where Black Widow flirts with the Hulk and Lil Droosie blasts through the speaker system. Everyone gets bummed out when Ultron shows up to the party uninvited, (thanks a lot Iron Man) and murders a few innocent extras. Also, what I find highly disturbing at this point is the dialogue between everyone. Throughout the movie, but especially here, writers had spliced some hip lingo that the kids are using these days into highly inappropriate places. Lines like: “Roll up in the club like…” and: “Just represent!” or just weird out of nowhere one liners like: ”The guy’s multiplying faster than a catholic rabbit” all made an unneeded appearance.

Anyway, Ultron’s sass is so powerful at this point that the Avengers are beaten in combat. I think Ultron sums up the movie pretty well with this really terrible line: “I can’t actually throw up in my mouth, but if I could, I would do it.” After being defeated the movie turns into an episode of “Full House” where Hawkeye invites all his counterparts to live with him and his wife in a house in the countryside. The absolute last thing I expected was for the Avengers to turn into a sitcom half way through the movie, complete with cooky household encounters and awkward family dinners.

Some stuff happens, blah blah more fighting, bam: former antagonists Tight Shirt, and Hot Topic Girl switch sides and join the Avengers. Unbeknownst to our heroes, Ultron has constructed an army of empty Iron Man suits and some kind of giant, doomsday, vape-core device beneath that eastern european nation the Avengers ravaged earlier. With new allies, the Avengers assemble themselves and head out for the final showdown. This is where it gets good.

The final showdown scenes are where the true nature of the characters come out and cheesy one liners are at a minimum. Their differences and super powers are what make the Avengers so great, and you don’t really get to see them using their abilities together in creative ways until the end of the movie. The variety of heros on the battlefield are truly cool, allowing the suspension of disbelief to finally take effect. I think that the final moments of “Age of Ultron” spell promise for the future of the franchise, because the more Avengers they introduce into the movies, the better the movies will be as the heroes play off each other in dynamic ways.

I expect the Avengers movies to get progressively better, and deem the first two to be somewhat lacking. I’m actually excited to see what new heros they add to the movies, and am healthily anticipating the next one.