Election Update: Close races and Republican drama

By Bart Brewer, Reporter

Hello there, and welcome back to the Clarion’s continued coverage of the 2016 election. It’s been awhile since we did the last one of these, which means that a whole bunch of stuff has happened during that time. We have a lot to cover, so let’s not waste any more time and jump into it.


Jeb Bush drops out


On Feb. 21, Jeb Bush dropped out of the race for the White House. This came after Bush had a disappointing showing at the South Carolina primary. In a speech to his supporters, Bush said, “The people of Iowa and New Hampshire and South Carolina have spoken, and I really respect their decision. So tonight, I am suspending my campaign.” While this is a bit unexpected, I can’t say that I didn’t see this coming. With people like Ted Cruz doing better in the primaries and with Trump absolutely destroying the Bush campaign (I’ll get to this in a sec), it was only a matter of time before Bush dropped out.


The close Democrat race


If you’ve been focusing on the Democrats’ side during the primaries, you’ve probably noticed how close Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders have been. In both Nevada and Iowa, Clinton and Sanders have been very close, there being only a few percentage points between them in Nevada, and less than a percent in Iowa. The only other state where it wasn’t close was New Hampshire, and that was a Sanders’ stronghold. If the primaries continue like this, we could be looking at a very close race on the Democrats’ side.


Trump…why…why do I need to write about you?!


Yep, here we are again, talking about Trump. It’s unavoidable. Whenever the elections come up in conversation, you need to talk about him. It’s like a disease, a horrible, rich, racist disease. Why Trump, why must you plague us so? *Sigh* Sorry about that, that was just the stress talking. Anyway, ever since our last report, Trump has been up to a lot of stuff. Last issue, we covered the Iowa Caucus where Trump blamed Ted Cruz of cheating. However, that’s not even the craziest thing that’s happened. To start off, Trump got into a fight with the Pope, mainly because the Pope said that Trump wasn’t a “real Christian,” referring to Trump’s plans to build a wall on the Mexican border. Trump then said that the Pope had been brainwashed by Mexico, and at that point it just devolved into cheap remarks at each other. Next, Trump bought the I.P. address jebbush.com. Remember when I said Trump destroyed the Bush campaign? Yeah, this is one of the ways he did that. The rest of the recent things Trump has done haven’t been nearly as outstanding as these, so I won’t mention what you can easily Google search.
Well there you go, another update to our country’s long and tedious election cycle. I hope you enjoyed reading, and I’ll see you in eight months where we can bask in the glory of Emperor Trump together.