Clarion

Jokes: Why Is This Even An Article

By Nicolas Brown, reporter

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Making people laugh brings me joy. Jokes are a great way to brighten someone’s day. Heck, if I can even elicit a groan from a bad pun, it feels like I did something nice for someone.

I decided to write my jokes down and try to release some dopamine from your brains. On that, sit down, make some popcorn, and get ready to laugh. It’s joke time with your host Nicolas Brown, the self-proclaimed master comedian. Also, my mom says I’m funny, so it must be true.

My first joke will be the very first one I heard. Ok, here it comes: What did one wall say to other wall? The wall said: meet you in the corner. That’s so clever. Haha, gets me every time.  Did you find it funny? I hope you did, of course you did.

My next joke will knock your socks off. These three joke are best in succession. That means “in order” if you didn’t know. (That’s also a joke.) Anyway, here is the first one: What do you call a cow with two legs? Cue the Jeopardy song…  Lean beef. Blahahaha. That’s so funny. Did you get it? No? Let me explain because jokes are always funnier when they’re explained, right? The reason why it’s lean beef is because without four legs, the cow would lean. Get it now? Of course you did. I bet you liked it too. Next joke. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. Fufufufufu. Now THAT was funny. Best joke I’ve ever heard. This is the real show stopper.  Where do you find your cow with no legs?  Right where you left it. OMG totes hilar!

More jokes, you say? What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?  (This one has a tiny bad word in it, brace yourself.) What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Hell-if -I-know.

I hope you enjoyed my jokes. You DID enjoy them! Those are some of my best jokes. I know, right, super funny. It’s riddle time.  A cowboy rides into town on Friday, stays for three days, then leaves on Friday. How did he do it? Cue the baby shark song for some reason. His horse was named Friday. That is the funniest riddle. Not old and outdated at all. If you didn’t find it funny, you have no sense of humor. If that’s the case, I would hate to be you. Cue the sad emoji face.

This riddle I first heard in band class, yes, I took band for a short time. I play piano. What do you have that other people use more? This riddle is very clever, you’ll enjoy. If you don’t, woah boy we’re going to have issues: Your name. Give a minute to set in… you still don’t get it? Sigh… let me explain, you have a name, right? You shouldn’t refer to yourself (unless you’re weird). For instance, if I spoke in third person all the time that would get obnoxious. Other people call you by your name. Get it? Good, moving on.

This next is an authentic Nicolas Brown riddle and it’s the best one yet. A man is running through the rainforest. He is being chased by a lion, tiger, and bear (Oh my!). The man has a gun. What does he shoot first. This is awesome. He shoots the gun first. See, wasn’t that a great riddle? Your welcome.

I hope everyone enjoyed my jokes and riddles. In all seriousness, I realize not everyone has my sense of humor and won’t find any of this funny. However, I hope I was able to bring some joy and happiness into your day. Thank you for reading. There are more jokes to come and if you liked this, feel free to write me jokes, funny jokes, in the comments below. I would enjoy all the funniness. Again, thanks for reading this obnoxious article.

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About the Writer
Nicolas Brown, Reporter

I'm Nicolas, and I'm a senior at Cleveland. This is my first year as a reporter on the Clarion, and I will be writing a column. My favorite book is The...

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Jokes: Why Is This Even An Article