Modern Feminism: Kehlani and double standards


By Sunflower Rangel, Copy Editor

“Today I wanted to leave this earth… Never thought I’d get to such a low point… Don’t believe the blogs you read .. No one was cheated on and I’m not a bad person… Everyone is hurt and in a place of misunderstanding.. But as of today, I had no single wish to see tomorrow,” wrote singer-songwriter Kehlani in an Instagram post of her arm and attached IV in a hospital bed on March 29.

So what’s all this about? Kehlani Parrish had been rumoured to be dating Cleveland Cavaliers player Kyrie Irving. According to “Dazed and Confused Magazine,” Kehlani’s ex-boyfriend and rapper, “PARTYNEXTDOOR” (Jahron Anthony Brathwaite) posted a photo (which has since been deleted) of  himself and Kehlani in bed and it sparked a copious amount of hateful online comments towards Kehlani. These remarks were all based on the assumption that she was dating Irving and were so numerous and vicious that the singer attempted to take her life. The comments called her out for cheating and being promiscuous.

While it has been confirmed that Irving and Parrish were not actually dating, the double standard surrounding infidelity remains. When male celebrities are caught in a cheating scandal, the repercussions are not nearly as severe as when a female celebrity is in the same position. The terms “whore,” “slut,” “thot,” “hoe,” and many other derogatory terms are tossed around as if they have no meaning and can’t possibly harm someone. The same does not stand true for men. There is a whole social media driven idea that makes light of dating multiple women at once. People post jokes about having “side hoes/chicks” and said women finding out about each other.

In light of Kehlani’s suicide attempt, Chris Brown took a disgusting stance on the situation even though it really was not his place to be and he has no room to speak on relationships. He tweeted, “There is no attempting suicide. Stop flexing for the gram. Doing s— for sympathy so them comments under your pics don’t look so bad.” Brown tweeted a couple more times during this awful spree in which he supported Irving–although what is there to support?–and rudely commented about Kehlani and Brathwaite’s intimate relations. For those who are unaware, Brown has a very young daughter and his history of domestic abuse, rumoured adultery, and his reaction to Kehlani’s situation makes me immensely fearful for how his daughter, Royalty Brown, will grow up and how she will view the world.

This entire situation is a huge reminder of how easy it is for words to be harmful. That may sound cheesy, but that does not negate the truth in the statement. You may think that your tweet won’t have any effect and you are simply expressing an opinion but if that opinion can be hurtful to someone, it’s better to just keep it to yourself. Think things through before posting them on the Internet. Kehlani is only 20 years old and still has a full life ahead of her. Those who decided to slut shame her and whose comments she saw should be thankful that she is still alive. They should reevaluate their ethics and learn the concept of thinking before you speak.