Rank5: Cereal Mascots
Although his handsome appearance and Irish stereotypes appear to be incredibly endearing, this small, man-shaped, abomination is a maniacal nincompoop. His motives remain shrouded in mystery as he is often seen hanging around casual cereal enjoyers, flaunting his Lucky Charms. Still, he chooses to keep them to himself, time and time again. It is almost as if he is taunting the children he shows off too by denying them his splendid marshmallow enhanced breakfast.
#4: Tricks (Trix)
This rabbit has been told repeatedly (since 1959 to be exact) that he cannot have the cereal that he desperately craves. Different children have explained this to him saying, “silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!” yet he still pursues the colorful balls relentlessly. Why he does not heed the warning given forth by these kids can only be speculated upon. It may be an incredibly poor memory, or hope that they may, in fact, be wrong, but more than 60 years later he still has no cereal to show for it.
#3: Tony the Tiger (Frosted Flakes)
Tony the Tiger may be the most boring of all the cereal mascots. With that being said, his big smile and unwavering optimism make him someone you cannot hate. Being named Tony and having a catch phrase like, “They’re great!” doesn’t appear to be very strong mascot material, but the big guy defies the odds with his attitude and focus on sports.
#2: Toucan Sam (Froot Loops)
Froot Loops are so good. They taste fantastic. I love them. I like them in milk. In a bowl. In my mouth. Yum. Mmmmmmm. Froot Loops.
#1: Cap’n Crunch (Cap’n Crunch)
Cap’n Crunch is both the objectively best tasting cereal and the most handsome mascot around. His curves accentuate his delightful face in a way words can’t describe. I often buy a box of his delicious crunch only to find myself staring into his cardboard eyes. His position as captain solidifies him as a man of power in a world of tigers and birds. One would be foolish to resist his hefty gaze.
Honorable Mention: Muscle Builder Bob (Wheaties)
Look at those guns!!!
